The Twelve Days of a Tony Stark Christmas
by assantra
Summary: I'm sure this has probably been done before but I wanted to make a gift of laughter to everybody. And who better to do that than Tony Stark. Points for those who recognizes the cameos. Hope it makes you laugh. Happy Holidays!


**A/N~ So yes I'm quite sure that this has been done before, but it came to me pretty much in one night. Writing it out took quite a bit longer. Ten points to you fanguys and gals for each cameo you spot. Good luck! Also hope this makes you laugh for Christmas. Happy Holidays everybody. ~A**

**The Twelve Days of a Tony Stark Christmas**

**On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me,**

**A British speaking A.I.**

Twelve days before Christmas Jarvis asked, "Sir if I may ask, what are the differences between Kwanzaa, Hanukkah, Christmas, Beltane, Happy Holidays and Xmas?"

"For the most part, nationality of origin, dates of traditional celebration, length of duration, and quality and quantity of presents, except the last two. Ones more politically correct and ones just kind of made up," Stark said as he put the finishing touches on a combination beer keg, hot dog cooking and popcorn making device for Happy for Christmas.

"I see and Sir prefers to celebrate all of them for the variety of cultures and traditions?" the A.I. asked.

"No I prefer to celebrate all of them for the variety of parties and presents," Stark told the A.I. as he checked the p.s.i. on the keg carefully.

"Of course sir, what was I thinking."

**~X~**

**On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me,**

**Two crashed sports cars, and**

**A British speaking A.I.**

"Tony!" Pepper screamed.

"Uh, oh," the inventor said before attempting to hide behind the U-bot. Pepper walked into the lab and said loudly, "I know you're in here Tony, so you may as well stop hiding. We had you chipped last year in case you ever get kidnapped. Jarvis can track you anywhere in the world."

"Judas," Tony muttered under his breath as he tried to crawl nonchalantly from behind the U-bot. "Just doing a little non-essential maintenance, Pep," he said innocently. Trying hard to ignore the glare from the company manager.

"Tony," she said with a growl, "was Rhodey visiting today?"

"Uhm, yes," the inventor said, while still trying to maintain his veneer of innocence and light.

"Is there anything you want to tell me?" Pepper asked dryly.

"Uhm, no not that I can think of," he said, as he rifled through some papers on his work surface.

"Tony!" she screamed again. The inventor cringed as she continued, "You are two grown men, why do you insist on acting like a couple of twelve year olds every time you get together."

"He just really never has the time to get away these days so we try to relish it when he does," he said trying to placate his on again off again girlfriend. For the moment they were on again and he didn't want to ruin their romance with something small like this.

"Relish is fine, wrecking five cars in one month, not so much." the redhead said heatedly.

"Hey at least we kept the collateral damage to a minimum this time. We kept it on the track." Tony offered with a helpful smile.

"You crashed two sports cars in one day, Tony. Two! How does that cut down on collateral damage?" she asked sharply as she glared at him.

"Uhm no buildings or other structures were harmed in the racing of these cars?" Tony ducked to avoid the handheld blowtorch that came flying at his head with a screech from the woman who was wielding it.

"Jarvis, note to self, only ever crash one sports car a day," Tony gasped as he bobbed and weaved through the lab.

"Yes sir," the A.I. replied placidly.

**~X~**

**On the third day of Christmas, my true love gave to me,**

**Three nosy reporters,**

**Two crashed sports cars, and**

**A British speaking A.I.**

"Mr. Stark, Mr. Stark, we understand that you and Ms. Potts are planning to spend Christmas together in your Malibu residence this year? Could you confirm?" the young woman who had been hiding behind his sports car, in his parking space in his personally secured lot asked after jumping out at him like a Jack-in-the-Box.

Happy held the entirely too energetic woman at bay as Tony replied. "You mean the Malibu residence that is currently a shattered hulk of rubble at the bottom of the ocean? That Malibu residence?"

At the young woman's continued smiling inquisitiveness, Stark cocked an eyebrow and said incredulously, "Yeah we are and I'll even tell you what I plan to give her for Christmas."

The woman squealed and said, "Oh wow, an exclusive!"

"Yeah I'm giving her scuba gear." he said as he and Happy climbed in the car and drove away.

Tony and Pepper were the picture of posh and beautiful as they headed to one of the swankiest restaurants in town for dinner.

"Mr. Stark, Ms. Potts, Blake Newsome, New York Sentinel. Can you confirm reports that Stark Industries is going to get into the automotive market by producing a flying car next year?"

Stark merely looked over at a slightly balding man in a suit standing nearby and said simply, "No comment," as he opened the door to the restaurant with a flourish for Pepper, and said, "Night Phil."

"My names Blake," the reporter replied in confusion as several agents closed in and tossed him unceremoniously into the back of a waiting black SUV

"Mr. Stark, Mr. Stark, a few pictures please sir," said a young man dressed in red and blue tights with a mask over his face, as he snapped several pictures of Tony, jogging in the park. He proceeded to run backwards along the jogging path as he continued to snap pictures.

"What are you wearing?" Tony asked, his eyebrow wriggling in confusion.

"Uhm urban camouflage works really well in graffiti laden areas." explained the photographer. "Is it true, your making a political Alliance with an alien government?" he asked as he continued to run backwards.

"No comment," Tony huffed as he continued to run thinking he's going to fall eventually right.

"Is it true they are turning the Avengers into a Broadway musical?" the presumably young man asked, as he switched out film while still running backwards.

"Hell no comment." Stark continued starting to get a little winded.

As Stark ran across the bridge the red and blue clad figure flipped backwards onto the railing to stay with Stark. The camera began flashing again. "Is it true that you are actually in a love triangle with Pepper Potts, the Asgardian Loki and are actually currently carrying a Chitauri love child?"

Tony's head snapped around to face the kid and he promptly tripped and fell into the rose bushes at the end of the bridge. Tony winced at the sharp sticks of the thorns as he looked up at he masked photographer who said

"Oh gosh are you alright Mr. Stark?" the kid asked.

"Not really," Tony said, raising his hand so the photographer could give him a hand out of the bushes. The kid was pretty strong, he literally lifted Stark out of the bushes and onto his feet. There were tears in his sweats with blood on several of the tears, "Care to repeat that last question?"

The kid apparently saw something in Stark's eyes because he said rather weakly, "No not particularly,"

"What's your name kid?" Tony asked and the masked photographer said without thinking, "Peter Parker, photographer for the Daily Bugle."

"Good to know," the inventor said before limping away.

Realizing what he had just done, Peter said, "Aw crap."

**~X~**

**On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me,**

**Four Avenger groupies,**

**Three nosy reporters, **

**Two crashed sports cars, and**

**A British speaking A.I.**

Tony with the help of Hawkeye were trying to explain why HALO was one of the best games ever to Captain America and the Black Widow, especially with Tony's virtual reality suit. Which was really an excuse for Tony to use the other Avengers for his crash test dummies as Black Widow explained it.

Tony and Natasha were arguing the point, when Jarvis said in a slightly shame-faced tone, "Sir, we have a security breach in the vault. Four intruders are currently trying to access the Iron Man suits, the schematics for same, the Captain's former uniform, and if I am not mistaken they seem to be trying to make off with the U-bot."

"Seriously? Show me Jarvis." Stark said in an irritated tone at his pitch for the virtual reality suit being interrupted.

A real time image appeared in mid air and sure enough four people were in the vault area. A vaguely familiar young woman with wild brown curls tucked under a beret and impressive curves was currently taking what looked like a crowbar to the hermetically sealed tube that held the uniform Coulson had had created for the Captain during the War for Manhattan.

A young woman wearing a pair of horn rim glasses, blond hair in a ponytail, a business suit and combat boots was trying to access the AI console in the vault. What looked like a teenager with spiky brown hair, an orange and yellow graphic t-shirt under a blazer and ratty looking jeans was trying to get past the security field that was currently around the Iron Man suit and not succeeding too well if the blackened fingertips were any indication.

What was most amazing and amusing was the young man who was trying to corral the U-bot. With the long blond hair, and armor one might mistake him for Thor. If one didn't notice he was only about five foot eight and 140 ponds soaking wet.

As Barton told Jarvis to call security, Tony said, "Why did it have to be Avenger groupies?" with a slight shudder.

**~X~ **

**On the fifth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me,**

**Five SHIELD agents,**

**Four Avenger groupies,**

**Three nosy reporters,**

**Two crashed sports cars and **

**A British speaking A.I.**

"This is never going to work," Tony Stark said irritably at the five SHIELD agents ranged around his person. Four men and a woman formed a half circle around the inventor. Except for Phil, the men looked like ordinary every day suits. The woman looked vaguely familiar with a blond ponytail and horn rimmed glasses.

"Except for Phil possibly nobody is going to mistake any of you as fan boys or a fan girl. No offense." Tony added.

Mr. Stark we have received a credible threat to yourself, the Stark ComiCon and all of the participants. We can't just ignore that," Coulson said intently.

"Fine, but you have to show me what you're going to look like. Cause if you're going like this it's never going to work," Tony said pinching the bridge of his nose to stave off the headache he felt coming on.

"Now?" Phil asked a little nervously.

"The Stark ComiCon is just two days away, so yes now," snapped Stark in an annoyed tone.

The agents rushed off as Tony threw himself down on the couch wishing he could have a drink even though it was only a little after ten in the morning.

The first one back was the woman, she was dressed as the Black Widow, complete with mock ups of the Widow's Bite, a red wig and the glasses. Tony had to admit she looked good in the catsuit and wig. "You'll do, Agent…?"

"Smoak, Mr. Stark. And thank you." said the woman as she left the room again.

Next was an Iron Man and that definitely creeped Tony out quite a bit the man was at least six inches taller than him and really built. The suit itself was obviously fabricated for his body and it lit up appropriately, but was not made for communication so Tony merely gave him a thumbs up and the agent walked back out of the room as well.

The next agent he recognized immediately when he walked in the room. The man was only about 5'8" and so shorter than Tony. He wore a long blond wig, a very realistic looking beard, body armor and carried a very realistic looking Mjolinir. The agent stood at attention as Tony circled him with an air of menace.

"You'll do and if I ever catch you in my Tower again I will have Jarvis release the video I have of you to every SHIELD agent in the Northern Hemisphere, clear?" Tony said quietly but with a great deal of intensity.

"Crystal, sir," said the agent with a gulp before beating a hasty retreat back out of the room.

Next was a shockingly accurate Loki. The suit was perfect, even the wig. The agent was a bit too buff and tan, but the general air of insanity, intensity and menace were spot on.

"Excellent work, Agent…?" Tony said as he circled the costumed agent.

"Agent Ward, Mr. Stark." said the agent before turning and walking back out of the room.

Next was supposed to be Phil and Tony expecting blackmail worthy material, ordered Jarvis to make sure to record the next encounter for later perusal by himself and a select number of friends of course.

When Coulson walked into the room, Tony's mouth fell open in shock. Coulson was wearing a suit, as a matter of fact he looked just like he always did.

Tony sputtered, "You were supposed to dress up for ComiCon, to blend in."

"Precisely, I will blend in, Stark," Phil said with a small smile.

"As what a guy in a suit?" Tony's voice raised as he became annoyed.

"As an MIB, of course." Phil said as he adjusted his tie.

To which Tony merely face palmed himself.

**~X~**

**On the sixth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me,**

**Six lawyers circling, **

**Five SHIELD agents, **

**Four Avenger groupies**

**Three nosy reporters,**

**Two crashed sports cars, and**

**A British speaking A.I.**

"Are you sure we have to do this?" said Tony as he and Pepper walked down the hall to the boardroom.

Pepper gave him a folio with the high points of each argument. It also had what the lawyers supposedly had as evidence, "Though I wouldn't trust that to be the only thing they have."

"Who are these guys anyway?" Stark asked a little tiredly.

"They're trying to pull this into a class action lawsuit against you. Although at the moment they have no actual clients. My guess is they are trying to see how much we might be willing to pay to get rid of the case so they know how much they can get for each client and how much they can charge."

"Vultures, circling?" Tony says helpfully.

"It would probably help if you didn't think of them that way," the redhead suggested diplomatically.

"It's either that or leeches. Which do you think would be more politically correct?"

Pepper merely sighed in exasperation. As the pair walked into the conference room where Tony's three best lawyers sat facing six lawyers from the opposition. 'See Pepper I can be PC, when I want to.'

"Gentlemen, ladies, I have a very busy schedule. Lets get started shall we?" he said making sure to drop the code phrase for Jarvis to call him out after half an hour at most. "I have the vagaries of the law suit give me the particulars."

One of the female lawyers spoke up and in truth Stark had to admire the manipulation. If he wasn't in a relationship with Pepper he might have fallen for it. The woman leaned forward making sure her cleavage was on display as she said, "We are here on behalf of several of the vendors and presenters at the former Stark Expo who are plaintiffs in a class action lawsuit against you for not providing appropriate security and safety measures. That caused the destruction of various vendors property at the Expo that occurred during the Hammer Drone Presentation."

"Let me stop you right there and bring to your attention, your own wording," one of the lawyers on Starks team said angrily, "The Hammer Drone is not now nor has it ever been a Stark product. I suggest you pedal this ridiculous piece of crap to Hammer Tech."

"We would if Hammer Tech was not currently under indictment for a dozen different Federal and International Lawsuits and if all of their assets hadn't already been seized." said one of the male lawyers of the opposition.

"As for appropriate security and safety measures, said the woman on their set of lawyers, "Let me remind you that none of the participants or vendors were injured and only twenty three of the attendees received minor injuries, thanks to the Stark Technologies employees fast actions. Which considering the frightening amount of armament and weapons system used by the Hammer Drones is more like miraculous."

"Yes, yes very nice," said another male lawyer from the opposition dismissively as he continued, "But we're talking about the loss of equipment and revenue."

"And that's more important to you than the saving of lives," said Pepper coldly, "I see."

Tony could tell that Pepper was getting more and more angry as this sham went on so he decided to nip this nonsense in the bud. "Gentlemen let's be blunt shall we? You have no clients, in particular the vendors or participants at the Expo. You know how I know that?" He said looking at the last lawyer on his side, because my friend here wrote a contract, an ironclad one I have been reassured."

"The contract states that I'm not legally responsible for any item that the vendors, etc. bring into the Expo or any problems said items may incur. Such as mass destruction. Secondly each vendor is expected to present evidence of insurance to cover the claims against the vendor that may occur due to said destruction. Third if the vendor cannot provide their own insurance they will be expected to purchase insurance by our chosen provider for an appropriate amount. Presenters the amount is more because the items are expected to work of course. Fourth there is a frivolous lawsuit clause that any frivolous law suits brought against will be immediately sued for five million for each respective plaintiff, which right now is the six of you. Consider yourself served," he added as each of his lawyers slid blue wrapped papers across the conference table to the gape mouthed lawyers on the other side.

"Thirty million, that should cover the injuries and loss of income to those attendees you find so insignificant who were injured in the Hammer Drone attack." Stark said, as he rose and taking Pepper's arm and led her out of the conference room and down the hall.

"Have I mentioned how much I love your evil genius-ness lately?" Pepper asked as she leaned into him affectionately.

"It does bear repeating, I think." Tony said with a grin.

**~X~**

**On the seventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me,**

**Seven aliens invading,**

**Six lawyers circling, **

**Five SHIELD agents, **

**Four Avenger groupies,**

**Three nosy reporters, **

**Two crashed sports cars, and **

**A British speaking A.I.**

"So how do I look?" Tony asked Pepper a little nervously, fiddling with the bow tie on his tux.

"Here," she said helpfully tucking her beaded bag under her arm as she undid and retied the tie efficiently. "You look fine, just calm down."

"I need a drink," he said anxiously, as he reached up to run his fingers through his perfectly coiffed hair.

Pepper smacked his hand back down as she took her evening bag back from under her arm and said, "No you don't. You're about to be the host for a dinner between the President of the United States and the Royal entourage of Asgard.

They stood at LaGuardia Airport on the tarmac. In a secluded section of the airport. The President and his family were flying in on one of Tony's luxury QuinJets. He had two of them, fully armed which pissed Fury off no end, but in this case the former Director had no complaints.

The open air was also necessary for the bit to come after the Presidents plane taxied to a stop and the President's group deplaned. Even as he tried to reach for the tie again, Pepper smacked his hand with her beaded bag this time. Even as they heard the almost silent rush of air as the QuinJet came in for a landing, followed by the other QuinJet. Pepper walked toward the other QuinJet and Tony straightened his shoulders slightly. As the Presidential party exited the QuinJet complete with several Secret Service agents.

"Glad I made that thing bigger," Tony thought as he stepped forward making sure to keep his usual attitude in check, "Mr. President, welcome to New York."

"Mr. Stark, a pleasure. A really remarkable effort you've pulled together here." the President said as he shook hands before introducing his wife and daughters.

Stark was the picture of charm, as he saw from the corner of his eye Pepper hugging the two women and middle aged man who had exited the other QuinJet. Allow me to introduce you to the woman who really made this meeting possible. He said as he walked the President and his family over to where Pepper stood with some of their other guests.

"This is Dr. Jane Foster, Dr. Eric Selvig and Ms. Darcy Lewis, it was their efforts that helped rebuild the Einstein-Rosen Bridge." Tony said as he reached in and took Pepper's hand to draw her to his side.

Pepper's phone beeped and she answered, "You all set, good send them the message."

Suddenly several of the Secret Service agents moved in closer to the First Family, "Sir the Press has gotten wind of this meeting we recommend an abort to the meeting and getting you back to DC."

"You do that and the Asgardians will not only see it as an insult but as a weakness," said Pepper.

"Forgive my manners Mr. President. This is my better half, Ms. Pepper Potts." Tony said with a great deal of pride in his voice.

The Secret Service agent in charge apparently spoke over the President said, "I don't care if they are insulted, the Presidents security is my main focus and if he leaves now even in a limo the press will know he was here."

Stark replied, "Then well go with Plan B. We've got enough food, right?" he asked Pepper thoughtfully, "If Thor is any indication, Asgardians eat hearty."

Pepper pulled the information up on her Stark-phone and was quick to say, Enough for everyone and the crews of course."

"Excellent, Mr. President, we're all set and we don't even have to leave the airport." Stark said as he noticed an increase in excitement among the Foster group as they all stared at her tablet.

"I believe our other guests are about to arrive." he said as the grin on his face grew even bigger. "We might want to step back a bit," he added as the sky above them lit up.

When the light show finally dissipated it was to see seven figures standing there. There were two shrieks from the Foster group as the two females surged forward and crashed into the party. Jane wrapped her arms around Thor while Darcy slammed into Fandral who was barely able to stay upright.

Meanwhile, the Secret Service agents all seemed to go on high alert, as if they weren't expecting the Asgardians to actually show up. Guns drawn and pointed at the visitors was not as much a shock as Stark thought it would be, unfortunately. Darcy, Selvig, and Jane standing between the guests wasn't either the fact that the Presidents two daughters joined them that was.

"Sir, these are the same aliens who led the assault on New York," said the Agent in Charge."

"That was Loki," said Selvig sharply. "He is Asgardian but his people had nothing to do with the attack."

"And they were invited asshat, you weren't," said an angry Darcy. The agent ignored the others but before he could say anything else he was convulsing on the ground. All eyes suddenly went to Darcy, who pointed the taser at the other Secret Service Agents.

The young brunette looked at the others and said sharply, "What they're pissing me off!"

"And you would be Darcy." said Odin All Father said with amusement clear in his voice. "My son and the others described you very well."

The President dismissed the other Secret Service Agents back to the QuinJet with acrimony. Volstagg stepped forward and offered to escort the Presidents daughters. As introductions were made between the two groups by Pepper and Tony.

He then walked them over to his personal hangar to find the planes removed and several huge tables and comfortable chairs set up. Along one wall were several huge portable grills were set up with a whole pig, steaks, ribs, chicken, and a variety of vegetables were grilling. There was also baked beans, corn on the cob, salad, potato salad, and a variety of other goodies were set up on several tables. The desert table was also set up to include ice cream, kept cold by dry ice, cakes, pies and so forth.

Happy was holding court with a Kiss the Cook apron on. Actual plates, napkins and silverware sat on a table before you got to the grills. Pepper stepped forward and explained that you picked up the plates, silverware and told the various grill masters what you'd like. Happy was the bartender, if you'd like lemonade, tea, wine, ale coffee, mead, they had tried to provide a little something for everyone's taste.

When asked, "How did you know we would need this set up?" by the President.

Stark merely said, "I always have a Plan B, Mr. President. If we hadn't eaten here it was going to be for the flight crews. As it is I over plan so that after we finish there will still be enough for the crews."

**~X~**

**On the eighth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me,**

**Eight klutzy chemists, **

**Seven aliens invading,**

**Six lawyers circling,**

**Five SHIELD agents,**

**Four Avenger groupies,**

**Three nosy reporters,**

**Two crashed sports cars, and**

**A British speaking A.I.**

"Eight klutzy chemists," Tony said under his breath as he was hustled out of the garage along with Pepper, and Bruce as klaxons and sirens wailed from every corner of the building.

"Well technically," said Bruce, "it was only three of them that were really klutzy," Bruce said as they were driven out past what seemed to be every fire truck, ambulance, and EMT in the Manhattan area. Then he added in an overly cheerful if a decidedly unhelpful tone, "The others were just clueless, really."

Tony merely groaned as he dropped his head into the palms of his hands.

**~X~**

**On the ninth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me,**

**Nine things invented,**

**Eight klutzy chemists,**

**Seven invading aliens,**

**Six circling lawyers,**

**Five SHIELD agents, **

**Four Avenger groupies,**

**Three nosy reporters,**

**Two crashed sports cars, and**

**A British speaking A.I.**

The Super Blowout Tailgater for Happy was ready. Thank goodness, as his bodyguard was going to be the envy of the Super Bowl crowd with it.

Boomerang arrows for Barton, who complained when he ran out of arrows. Completely understandable, really. EMP arrows just in case Tony ever had another issue with the suits again. Which he really hoped he didn't. Sonic arrows that actually worked, cause he didn't want his friend to have to rely on SHIELD R & D considering what had happened the last time

Stretchy pants for the Other Guy, the polymer he used was breathable and stretchable. So poor Bruce wouldn't keep coming home naked after the Other Guy went out to wreck the town.

A wrist watch for Phil, the watch was not only able to tell time in every time zone in the world. It also had GPS, a radiation detector, a GPS beacon, cell phone and WiFi function. Tony also took the opportunity of installing the function that if Coulson ever needed to he could summon Lola to him from up to fifty miles away.

New body armor for Katniss and Tasha, made with the same polymer cloth he used for Bruce's pants but with a ceramic composite that was shatterproof and ten times tougher than Kevlar. He was always a little worried about the SHIELD assassins who were still mostly merely human like him.

He also worked on improving the new Stealth body armor for Cap. He wanted to make it go invisible like the original Helicarrier and had actually included that function in the latest version of the armor. Which Steve then refused to use as he said it didn't seem fair to him. Yeah, go figure, the wholesome goodness thing could be really annoying at times..

**~X~**

**On the tenth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me,**

**Ten suits for flying, **

**Nine things invented,**

**Eight klutzy chemists,**

**Seven aliens invading,**

**Six lawyers circling,**

**Five SHIELD agents,**

**Four Avenger groupies,**

**Three nosy reporters,**

**Two crashed sports cars, and**

**A British speaking A.I.**

The Rescue Suit for Pepper was also ready, way ahead of schedule but he figured if he gave that to her for Christmas she'd probably kill him. It would be the equivalent of giving your wife a really big vacuum cleaner, according to Tasha. Stark thought she was crazy, who would mistake one of his suits for a vacuum cleaner but she was a woman so he gave her the benefit of the doubt. He looked into a nice diamond Infinity bracelet for Pepper instead.

The new and somewhat improved suit for Rhodey. The Ex-Wife did actually work on this one. Take that Justin Hammer. Now if only the Colonel could stay on his feet when he fired it. Yep, Tony would have to work on that he supposed. Something about the Hammer Tech additions throwing off the center of gravity on the suit. Darn it, back to the drawing board.

The Mark V which he had made improvements to the speed and he didn't have to be flying through mid-air for it to activate. Thank goodness.

He also made a new and improved case suit, that was slimmer and looked more like a briefcase. It also had extra shielding against electrical interference.

He went back and made improvements to the Mark I suit. He knew he was cheating a little but he felt it was still keeping his word to Pepper. The improved Mark I was now scuba ready and also was able to be used in space flight for more than thirty minutes. He even included an emergency exit function, just in case he lost power for any reason.

He made improvements to the winged suit he made for the Emergency Rescue group. The wings were sturdier and made of a vibranium and titanium alloy to improve tensile strength and limit the ability for weapons to do damage to the wings. He was still working on body armor for the wearer that wouldn't limit mobility but would increase protection.

He created an armored bodysuit for Hawkeye after the last time he jumped off a ledge and the arrow didn't hold. It wasn't Clint's fault really. The building he shot the arrow into was actually scheduled for demolition because the brickwork was found to be unsound. So when his weight landed on the arrow, it had dislodged. Medical was only able to keep him for two weeks before he escaped, this despite the cracked vertebrae and several cracked ribs.

The suit had a limited flight function with built in wings like a wing suit and repulsors on the built for slowing descent. It took the archer only a week for the archer to learn to use the suit. Cupid was instantly installed as his new nickname. Iron Hawk was bandied about SHIELD as a new call sign before being discarded.

Then of course there were also the Mark II, II, and IV. All of which he also improved with the scuba and space functions and the emergency exit function. So technically no breaking of promise to Pepper.

**~X~**

**On the eleventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me,**

**Eleven bottles of scotch,**

**Ten suits for flying, **

**Nine things invented,**

**Eight klutzy chemists, **

**Seven aliens invading,**

**Six lawyers circling,**

**Five SHIELD agents, **

**Four Avenger groupies,**

**Three nosy reporters,**

**Two crashed sports cars, and**

**A British speaking A.I.**

One bottle from the President in appreciation for hosting the first interplanetary peace meeting betweenthe Asgardians and the U.S. Very fine quality. That went in his personal stock.

A cheaper bottle from an Agent Marcus Gant, It took a phone call to Phil to figure out who that particular agent was and surprisingly enough, he wasn't a

SHIELD agent. He was the Secret Service agent who had nearly caused the Earths first interplanetary war. According to Phil the Chitauri invasion didn't count as a war. Only a skirmish. Ok then.

The third was a bottle from the eight chemists who had caused enough fire and smoke damage that fourteen floors of the Tower had to be closed for repair and refurbishing for six weeks. Cheap stuff. He really should have fired them.

Barton sent him a bottle from Scotland a 25 year old bottle of Laphroaig. Who's admonition of don't ask him where he got it from or what he was doing in that part of the world, Tony took very seriously. Another keeper that went in the personal stock. A bottle of the same liquor from Phil had the inventor smiling, as he added it to its twin in his liquor cabinet.

A bottle of Glenfidditch from Pepper was placed there just out of love for the woman herself. The bottle of Jack sent from her father was also well received, but really he was wondering about how all these people knew his alcohol preferences.

The half dozen transcribers who worked to transcribe the chicken scratch that was Tony Stark's handwriting. The women to hear Pepper tell it, are miracle workers if they can interpret the Sanskrit that was Stark's writing.

They sent him a bottle of Wild Goose, he sent them each a pair of diamond earrings.

His banker sent him a bottle of Glenfinnan by courier with a lovely heartfelt form letter in card form. Stark wasn't impressed.

Plus the two bottles of Jim Beam brought to the mini Avengers Christmas get together. The team worked there way through the two bottles in one evening, a very good evening.

**~X~**

**On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me,**

**Twelve signatures signed, **

**Eleven bottle of scotch,**

**Ten suits for flying,**

**Nine things invented,**

**Eight klutzy chemists,**

**Seven aliens invading,**

**Six lawyers circling,**

**Five SHIELD agents,**

**Four Avenger groupies,**

**Three nosy reporters,**

**Two crashed sports cars, and**

**A British speaking A.I.**

Three contracts signed. One for reclamation of materials that were slotted for weapons manufacturing. Another for reactivation of a factory for production of the same to be restructured for recycling of the goods. Final signature was for the authorization to hire over a thousand workers for the running of the factory.

Two RSVP's to the negative for Christmas parties scheduled on Christmas Eve. Although technically he wasn't sure initials counted as a signature.

If the initials didn't count, then two signatures n letters sent to Bruce with suggestions for improvements on a couple of items they had been working on jointly for the past several weeks. Only those were e-mails so maybe that didn't count either.

Six personal invitations for Happy, Barton, Natasha, Bruce, and Steve. After a slight pause he even sent one to Phil with the understanding he could invite whatever SHIELD agents he thought might be interested, within reason of course.

And of course a love letter to Pepper, along with a sprig of mistletoe for inspiration.


End file.
